There was a way I saw the world

Another untitled and undated poem that I’m relatively certain was written in spring 2006. I have a sneaking suspicion that while I was thinking of someone specific when I wrote it, more than one person was holding space in my emotional mind when this came bubbling out of me. The first time I read it after rediscovering my poetry journal, I knew exactly what this poem was about and when, until I realized that this had to have been written in 2006, and the incident I was remembering occurred at Christmas in 2014. Weirdly, it actually fits the second incident more literally than the first.

There was a way I saw the world then
And I will never see it that way again
Your are no longer a prince
Nor I a princess
Though we laugh in the rain just the same
We sat under the stars and talked
About everything and nothing
And I loved you again, though differently
In some ways, we are twin souls
But at times you feel oceans away
How strange that we should speak
Under the stars
Together this one time
And tomorrow smile at strangers
As we hug and part
Heading home


The Breath on my Neck

Another previously untitled poem from 2003-2004ish. It’s based off a real experience of sitting on the bus and feeling someone behind me, when I knew no one was there. It sounds creepy, but it didn’t feel creepy, it felt like a glimpse of the future. If I think about it, I can still feel that breath on my neck, and it still gives me shivers in a good way.

Poetry marched down my back
Sending shivers worming through my flesh
I felt someone who wasn’t there grip my shoulders
Turn me to face a thing I couldn’t see
Through the thick smudge of reality that sat smugly before eyes
I felt a breath
From another time
Or place
On the nape of my neck
Felt words I couldn’t understand
I thought of angels and demons both
Flying through my summer sky
And wished what they call reality
Didn’t hold me so tightly
I reached myself back
To the hands on my shoulders
To the breath on my neck
And tried to refocus my eyes

Secret Garden

This is a poem I wrote in 2003 or 2004, before I began dating my work. It was untitled, but I think Secret Garden is a good fit.

There is a place I went a couple of times
It was my secret garden
Someone mowed the lawns and planted flowers
But I never saw them
I like to go there
When the sun is overhead
It trickles through the leaves
Splashes on the grass
Makes it glow like living emeralds
I want to go back
But the sun shines differently in the winter
And I can’t make myself leave the things they want me to do
So every once in a while
I turn away for a minute
I close my eyes to see that green
And let the tears fall like a November drizzle, until
Duty once again tugs on my sleeve